Yesterday I came across this article about an illustrator who set about trying to raise funds to self publish his children's book on kick starter:
His name is Ryan Sohmer and his illustrations are truly stunning. So is no wonder his campaign raised more than $75,000 in just a matter of weeks! As I was flicking through the gallery of his work, one of the illustrations and it's wording really struck a chord with me:
I've been having a tough few days after catching the flu, struggling with my chronic pain, and not getting much sleep with Bean in the final push to get all four of her eye teeth through. When it comes time for Jake to leave for work in the mornings I literally have to fight the urge to get down on my knees and beg him not to go!!
At times like these it takes some kind of stimlus to get me to shift my focus from everything that's wrong in my life, and see all the wonderful things that are right. This time that illustration was it.
Because it's true, there most definitely is a finite number of years that Bean will want and need me as much as she does now. She won't always want to hold my hand when we walk down the front steps, or nuzzle in to my chest when she's tired but doesn't want to sleep yet. She wont always want to show me when she finds a beautiful flower in the yard, or for me to sit in the bunny chair and read 'Mr Noisy' at the top of my voice for the seventh time that day. One day, much sooner than I'm ready to admit, she'll want to play with her friends instead of with me at the park, she'll want privacy and space, and to be as independent as is natural for a growing child to become.
So I want to make the most of these precious years, this time of being the at the molten epicenter of Bean's universe. And whilst there will always be days when I long for more space and time to myself, I must remember to sit and savor the magic of this place where I'm still her sun, moon, and stars.